I yelled at my kids the other morning.
I yelled a lot. I yelled really loudly. It wasn’t pretty.
I think it started because too many people (my kids) were saying my name and asking me for too many things.
And, maybe it had something to do with me trying to do too many other things while I should have been paying attention to my kids. It also may have had something to do with the fact that it was a Saturday morning with no sports or activities, my husband was at work and I may have had a few too many glasses of wine the night before.
I was sitting at the computer just trying “to finish one more thing” when I heard my kids behind me starting to bicker. They kept bickering and kept bickering. I kept trying to get done what I was trying to get done. Whatever it was that I was working on, I certainly wasn’t curing cancer so how important could it really have been?
One of them called to me about her brother pinching her. Another one called to me about getting a snack. And again someone called “she’s bothering me!” The longer I sat at my computer, the louder the bickering became.
I had had enough. I started yelling.
First I sent them to their rooms. Then, I made them all come out of their rooms with the brilliant idea that they needed to learn to get along. I pulled out a Lego set (Yes, miraculously, we had one that was still in its original box with all pieces apparently enclosed).
“Because you aren’t getting along, now you HAVE TO get along," I yelled. "Go to the kitchen table and build this Lego set TOGETHER!”
I almost cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West. The kids were aghast.
“I don’t want to play with HIM. He was pinching me!”
“MMOOOMM? Are you serious?”
“I DON”T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE ARGUING!” I boomed out. And at this point, they saw that I was clearly losing it and they were on thin ice. “AND if you don’t do it, we are not going to the Belmar St. Patrick’s Day parade tomorrow!”
Imagine more cackling.
Much grumbling ensued. But a Lego house appeared a little while later in our kitchen. I guess the parade was enough of an incentive.
Back at my computer, I finished up what I was working on. I felt very guilty for losing my cool. Although I am embarrassed to admit it, yelling comes with the territory in our house. Not every day. But often enough.
That day, I calmed down fairly quickly. I went back to being regular mom who listens and smiles and hugs and encourages and feeds and apologizes. Regular mom went on with regular life as usual.
Every day I try. I try not to yell. I try not to lose my patience. I try not to let life get to me. But hey, I am human. That means that as hard as I try, sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I yell. I just hope that when it’s all said and done, it’s the hugs and love they remember more than my Wicked Witch yelling.